About Her

It looks like her status is getting worse. We can sense her worries behind those force smile she always gave to us. Her house mate told us she cant sleep and she always hear her walking..

We are trying our best not to show our fear and worries in front of her. I told our friends to stay happy, talked lightly and laughable things every time we are near her.

But some broke up sometimes, asking her plans after this.. she will be heading back to the Philippines soon..

I hope and pray everything will be okay...

Things I Missed To Do Lately

Cooking my own food...

Studying and reading my old notes in school...

Travelling...

My Friends...

Day Dreaming...

Using my brain... hahaha

* Thought this will be a long list *

I Hate You!

And I mean it!

I thought that this is just temporary, and everything will be back as what it is before.. as smooth and happy as what I felt.

You cheated on me...

Its been days and you keep on bugging me.. what do you want?

I have lots of sleepless nights now. You woke me in the midst of my sleep, for what, just to make me feel that you're still there? That you don't want to go no matter what?

I know that you knew I sometimes wake up with tears in my eyes.. and still you're not bothered.

You're too much, I had enough of you!

Get away.. I don't need you in my life....

Get lost! Goodbye!

-me to my flu-

A Dream

Yep, I been away for exactly 1 month. No updates or anything. I just let my self and my mind to rest for a while though I moretimes sleep late watching late night shows.

Its been a very busy month for me. Giving some points on a new hired friend from our Company. I also on the process of cooling down since I been on fire and almost got an ugly confrontations with her. Its unfair to say that she changed a lot since everyone keeps on changing right? Its just that she disappoint me that much and almost forgot that shes my "childhood friend" not to mention a very closed neighbor and elementary classmate... but I will drop the subject and will make another post about that.

Last night, I woke up while on the midst of what I thought is a sound sleep, dreaming about my hometown. The only thing that I remember when I woke up is our place.. shouting it. Whoa! Its a bit creepy and I know its a bad dream. I just really regretted that I don't remember the whole details of it unlike when I was a kid. I still remember some of my childhood bad dreams. From a giant spidey which I'm not afraid of, big snakes, monster and ghosts. I, sometimes woke up in the middle of the night crying before.

The only bad dream that remains on my mind until now is about our country's local version of monster, the "Manananggal". It's a creature, a half body (human-like) with wings which able for it to fly and seek for its food. The news about this monster spread like a virus before. There are some people who claims to see this creature sneaking on someones roof, usually midnight. There even a times where our parents, due to panic, didn't allow us to go out of the house when the clock reach 7pm. It spoils our desire to play hide-and-seek since thats the only game children plays those times.

Good thing those kinds of news are not around anymore. Maybe because of the modern technology, these kinds of creepy stories were already wash out in peoples' mind...

Crazy Day!

I got a message from a friend in Philippines saying she is scheduled to fly going to the country today. Its a sudden news that she is schedule to leave our homeland to join me here in my adopted country to work.

I wasn't informed about the schedule not until I received the message.. now I'm worrying about her stay here. It turns out that the place where she will temporary stay is not yet fixed, and no one is set to meet her in the airport.

I don't know if everything is my fault, I mean, She is my friend and I, atleast look for a comfortable place for her to stay in. I tried but I'm not lucky. In the other way around, I must blame the Agency about mishandling of her safety.. yes its a safety issue about her. And it is included in the contract that they are responsible for securing a place to stay in for all their foreign employees... or at least temporary.

The answer that I got from them when I ask is "I thought she will stay with you?"

What I stupid assumptions. My responsibility to her is minimal in compare to their responsibility. They didn't even ask me if she will stay with me nor I told them I will look for a place for her.

This is wrong...

Fourth Year

I almost forgot. It's been four years since I decided to leave my country and seek for an imported bread and butter from other land. Never I thought that I can survived living alone in a foreign land with minimum knowledge about the people norms and its culture. Leaving behind my family who raised and always there beside me for more than 20 years... Is it worth it?

I have to admit, before I thought that it will just as easy as solving 1 plus 1. I thought leaving is the answer to some problem for middle class family like us.. financially or not. I have a great respect to all OFW. My tatay is once an OFW in Middle East.

But I proved that its not easy... mentally and emotionally. You will gain many enemies in the form of loneliness, culture clash, competition, mga pasaway mong kababayan (countrymen) and even your self.

There are lots of question running in my mind now. Did I achieved my objective why I'm here? Did I provide good lives for my love ones? Did I became the person I dreamed before? and many many more. Surely, some of my plans are achieved but there are things that was left behind....

Come and Go

Life is really too short,

I'm sad.. one of my aunt just passed this morning.

I'll take a break first on writing an entry today.

Gray day

I'm very excited last night just to be disappointed after more than 4 hours of watching the final match of Wimbledon. My mind is still denying the sour lost of one of my favorites and finalist on this year tournament in All-England Club.

Andy Roddick change his game(thats for sure) and really deserve to win, but Roger Federer stop him. Wahh.. Roger fans are surely still celebrating the wins of their bet. sigh.. sigh... sigh!

In the good side, Andy reaches the final of a Grand Slam after years of trying. He still the winner for me.. hehehe.. (bitter)

Talking about tennis, it's been weeks since my last game with my Indonesian friend in Cyberia. He keeps on complaining about his right hand and still on rest in order to play again. I'm also waiting for my Filipino friend to recover on his illness... he still had this stone on his kidney and still under medication for almost 4 months. He was been my tennis buddy for a year now.

I have again received an invitation from a Church friend for a tennis game this coming Saturday in National Tennis Center, this could be a chance for me to check my improvements on my new loved game. Sadly, I can't make for this week since I already commit my weekend to accompany a friend from Philippines in Genting Highlands. This is his 3rd time in the country and 3rd to planed to visit the place. Our first two plans was been canceled due to tickets and bus schedule unavailability. Hope we can make it this time.. yay! In the brighter side, My tastebuds will again enjoy the tasty hotdog made from my Motherland!

Bibo.. bibo.. bibo..!

The Kid in me… Super Electron Bioman!

Tinamaan na naman ako ng lungkot ng pag-iisa.. hahaha

Ewan ko ba..

I was browsing youtube, when I decided to try and search if I can still find some clip of my favorite sentai super hero show… voila! Meron pa!

I remember together with my elder siblings, we watch this show every weekend on our old Toshiba Black & White Television. We used to imitate the hero and pretend to fight the bad guys. I always choose, of course the leader of the pack… RED ONE.

There were some time when my nanay or kuya prohibits me in watching the show due to stubbornness. At the age of 5, I will leave our house to hop on our nearest neighbor to ask if they can allow me to watch...

That is the time when I was exposed to many foreign shows in the country. I feel comfortable watching and listening on different language than my own… in some way, though young, I can already understand words that I have heard on that medium. Hindi lang ata na develop mabuti, the reason why I’m poor in interpersonal communication using what other bragged as “Our second Language”.

4 Country President, other sentai shows ends, local variety shows dispersed…

Here…

Still…

My love of the show remains…

Rainy Days on..... Wednesday? :)

I really love rain specially when it happens in the morning.. I don't really know why.. basta I love it...

I remember before praying to rain whenever I felt lazy going to school. Of course there are lots of things I can do when it's raining, like taking a bath under the cold tears of sky, playing my self made paper or slipper boat, watching the birds covers them selves not to be wet and be amazed while watching everything becomes black and white.


Like today, I was struck by this nostalgic feeling of my childhood.. How I wish to be granted and let my self travel back to my childhood days... just once.

I Been Hit

Yeah.. I been hit, heavily hit by Homesickness :(.

I thought my years of being alone will strengthens my feelings of being independent.. by myself, away from the wings of my family... specially my parents..well, I'm wrong again.

-sigh-

-deep sigh-

-very deep sigh-

I'm now chanting one of my favorite Hangad Song included on their "Pasko Naming Hangad" album.

-Simeon's Canticle -

Lord, let Your servant go in peace
For Your Word has been fulfilled.

A Child shall be born to the Virgin,
And His Name shall be called, "Emmanuel."

My own eyes have seen Your salvation
Which You have prepared for all men.

A Light shall reveal to the nations
And the glory of Your people, Israel.

A passage from book of Luke which I first heard years back in Advent Season....

Alone from Nowhere

It's very difficult to be upset. It is very hard to expect on something that you don't have a clear positive answer.

I tried to be a life coach to some of my friends who open their difficulties in life and I really try my best to cheer them up... give positive advice.

But now, I'm on the mids of a black-world.. a nowhere. I feel alone....

Toothache

My late Grandfather used to be a quack dentist when I was a kid. I can't recall how old I am that time when he used to treat me when my tooth is aching. A funny practice, he use a small pins or a small nail to treat all his patients. After pressing the tool to damage tooth, he will murmur something and will nailed the pins to a wood. Voila! the ache gone!

It is good that no one complains that they got tetanus from that practice.

If only life is as simple as treating like what my late lolo does. Maybe (just maybe) some major problems in our society can be treated instantly. Instant magic :D

[Sumakit kasi bigla ipin ko kaya ko cya naisip... miss you lolo. I know you're already in heaven with lola. Please always ask papa Jesus to continue in protecting us...]

Welcome back to me :)

(Image from my window while flying back in my home country)

I'm still having jet-lag from my flight last Sunday. Our flight was been delayed due to heavy storm from the country where they departed. The 2 hours delay would be my first from this airlines for 3 years.

Reached my place at 1230h Monday morning gave me a headache. I wasn't able to sleep due to tiredness.

At the office, I wasn't able to surf the internet and update my blog due to overflowing emails on my notes that I need to be read and delete, and I spent my days working on it.

Anyway I have to put all things on place before having a good rest while at my workplace.

Remembering People of 9/11

The years passed really fast.. I can't recall how many happiness and sadness I felt through out the year. My birthday is also approaching and my long awaited vacation will finally come.

September 11 is an unforgettable date of the year. Not just me but all people around the globe.. specially the U.S.

Who will forget the picture of the two highest tower in the world brought down by planes hijacked by sour people? Well not by me. It is still clear on my mind what happen on this same day. All eyes are on the live news. I just arrived from my University around 11pm since my first schedule in my early tertiary days are mostly at night. My country is ahead of 12hours against U.S. so I am not expecting to saw shocking news before my bedtime.

The next morning all people are talking about one subject... The Twin Towers falls down. They are not grieving about the building... they are grieving about the casualties. Brave people offer their help to recover what are left at the site... I can't recall the total of dead people flashed on the headlines of major news paper. This only reminds me of one reason... War.

Now, people are still grieving about the incidents. Families of those who are not fortunate were still offering some prayers. Hopefully others do their part. I already done and will still doing mine....

Pray.

Differences

God uniquely created us different from one another.. physically, mentally and emotionally. Even the twins are not the same. Well some of them are physically alike but still there are some small things in them that makes them different from each other.


I think this was made for us to survive.. to be dependent on each other. One can't live without other.

"No man is an island"

This is definitely true. I, myself can attest that even how strong you are personally, you can't live without somebody around you. That is why we have to love other as we love our self. But still, there are people who are boastfully overwhelm of what they achieve, what they are and what they think of themselves who keeps on degrading other as if they don't have the right to be around them.

"Racism - Discrimination or prejudice based on race"

I think every one of us possesses this characteristics. Come on. I will not buy if you will say you don't! The worst thing to know is that people around you tend to pull you down. I know lots of people who do that, and the sadden part is they were belong in one place... born to the same norms and beliefs.

People in my country are not exemptions. I don't blame them to be one. But I also can't think of any reasons why we are. Is it because of envy? I don't know.

Blue day

Just this morning I feel as if today is the worst day of my life. You know the feeling of laziness, crankiness and being bore rolled in one.

Thanks to my friend who mocked me on YM.. it really changes my mood. I really like what she told me...

"Friends are siblings that GOD provided us"

Na touched ako sobra... Thanks Jho!

Its been a while since the last update of this blog. So many things happen and yet I haven't got any time to post it on my web. I can't even remember what are those things.. now that is the price I have to pay for not dedicating my self to update this blog regularly...



Past is past and I have to start again. Life must go on as they say. Actually I envy those people who gave most of their time for their web. Putting their thoughts and feelings into words. That's why I ask myself why I can't do what the can. Why I can't give 5 minutes of my time to update. I'm not a born writer but reading what you have done (through writing) in the future will give you diffrent feelings.. happines. I am a nostalgic type of person who wants to bring back the memories of the past and this will help to bring back those memories that my brain cant hold for long time.

Back Logs...

I had been to lost world for these past few days. Anyway I don’t want to list down the reason why. Toxic.. toxic.. toxic.

As payment for not having time in updating my blog, I list some of topics that I need to comment on.


Manny Pacquio

Okay, he won. I read it on the online news and did I read it right? He is going to have a show on one of the local channels in the country. Wahhh… Please spare me!!!



Desperate Housewives’

This became a real thing now. They already made an apology.. I haven’t read the full details yet since I got no time reading all those craps. Hahaha.. kidding!

But, yay! The issue became big now. Yes it’s kinda “racial”, but can we Filipino stop asking for more? I mean, yes we been hurt on the statement. The show and characters are fictional, yes, but those lines were already delivered and people around the globe already watch it. If they think other way around then be it. Be sensitive but not too much. I also reacted on the shows, but then, what’s happening now is too far on what I expected to happen.

We react and it’s normal. As I have said, it’s just like hearing bad things about your family from others… it’s the same.

Being too loud about this issue only proves that we’re guilty. Am I right?


and…


My Birthday

Okay, nothing special. I planed to have a great dinner as gift for my self, but I failed. The rains stop me in going to the mall. I just sleep on my Birthday… a real worst thing ever happen to any individual. Argh!


That’s all! Au revoir!

Desperate Housewives’ “foul” remark about Medical School in the Philippines

Well well well, I haven’t got any time to blog for the past days and now here I am posting about the scene in a recent episode of well-known TV show Desperate Housewives’ which I and other Filipinos found offensive and racist. Thanks to my collegue who sent the email this morning.

In one scene, Susan Mayer Delfino, played by Teri Hatcher, is talking with her OB-gyne. She tells this line which made us Filipinos offended:

“Okay, before we go any further, can I check those diplomas? Coz I would just like to make sure they are not from some med school in the Philippines”.

Filipinos are talented and smart… we all know that. That’s why I can’t under stand why this show just throw an insult just like that. Maybe for some who already watch the full episode(which exlude me) found it funny, but for me, a sensitive dialogue or issue like that should be carefully watchout…it’s a foul.

I know some medical people graduated in reputable Med Shools in the country who excels on their field of specialties. I also have some friends studying medical courses who put their hearts, focus hard and very much dedicated on their studies. How do you think they react once they heard these lines? Blown, isulted and offended.. same as me. Am I sound like I am one of them? No.. im not! Im not Medical Professional but I really feel hurt!

Bang!


Same post can also be found on my friendster account @ http://lonerboyfox.blogs.friendster.com/my_blog/